The people usually say that time heals everything, but I know that’s not true. Pain does not disappear over time, you have to accept it, you have to integrate it and work to heal it, only time is not capable to heal anything just as time is not capable to heal an open wound, if we don’t treat the wound, the wound will never heal. Time is essential in recovery, but if we do nothing to treat the problem as we do with a physical ailment the emotional ailments will only worsen.
A few days ago someone, who I thought was missing from my life, returned. He sent me a friend request on Facebook with another name and a symbol as a profile picture, perhaps the result of some kind of change he has experienced in his own life. As I didn’t know who he was, I wrote him a message asking if I knew him and when he revealed his identity, I was frozen, I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t answer him or accept his friend request. The next day, already somewhat recomposed and after talking to several people, I asked what he expected of me after all this time. He doesn’t answer and magically the friend request disappeared.
This whole situation resurrected emotions and ideas that I thought I had overcome, but no, time failed to cure it. That wound didn’t come when he disappeared, but it came from further back. I know it got bigger because I clung to a situation when I should have let go, but I also know it wasn’t just my fault. More than once I expressed how I felt and for his part no one changed, in fact the answer I used to get is that I was the one who needed to change. I mean, he was indirectly telling me that I was doing something wrong, that there was something wrong with me or that I was still not enough.
Time doesn’t heal but he’s a good teacher
As the weeks passed after his disappearance, I realized that all I needed to change was that relationship. With him out of my life, I stopped feeling certain things about me and regain some of my power. I gave up some of my power to try to keep something, to try to get something I’ve been working for a long time and that I didn’t even get from him in the end.
With that person out of my life I thought things had improved, but when he came back the old feelings and thoughts that were not pleasant or constructive at all. I tried to establish a way to explain myself, to make it clear that things couldn’t and shouldn’t be like they were before but he just ran away. I was denied a civilized way of healing, of taking out the pain inside me and suddenly feeling again and oppressing me.
Over time we learn to stop doing things that hurt us. When we are children we put our hand in the fire once, when we have burned ourselves, we learn that we must not put our hand back in. The problem is that sometimes, when we are older, we are not so clear what things are the things that hurt us or it is more difficult for us to take them away from our lives for very different reasons. We let certain things and situations take control of us and take some of our power to live our lives as we want.
Cutting ties can sometimes be the only way to regain freedom
One thing I have learned devotioning Eros and guiding others to Him over the past few years is that any relationship that bends you is not healthy. We must learn where and when set boundaries to own ourselves and our emotions. I needed to heal that situation, but that person ran away, he didn’t want to face anything I could tell him, even without knowing what I could have told him. If talking and coping with the past was the noninvasive surgery that had failed now, I needed to amputate before the pain continued to spread.
That’s what I did: root down every bond and tie I still had with him. The greatest energetic bond he had with that person involved Hecate so I needed Hecate to cut that tie but for the rest I needed something different. Just like you go to different specialist surgeons you need different energies for different things. For the rest of the emotional and energetic ties I needed a liberating force because each connection felt like a chain that caught me, I needed Eros Eleuterio.
The epithet Eleuterio was applied to Eros, Dionysus, and Zeus. The latter two were awarded this title by the Greeks respectively for the inhibitory effect of wine and for the freedom that citizenship entailed. However, with Eros there was talk of the freedom that love entailed, of letting passion and feelings flow. But letting emotions flow sometimes also involves give up and letting go and that’s what I needed at the time.
I wrote the ritual, I take a purifying bath and left another bath ready to purify and heal. I invoked Hecate and Eros Eleuterio and cut each and every energy and emotional tie I had with that person. After leaving the offerings under my favorite tree I took the second bath and as I relaxed I started to feel bigger and lighter. The bonds had disappeared and I could feel as if I had disposed of heavy chains of wrought iron that until now had been holding me back.
When we call Eros Eleuterio we literally call him Liberator. Their influence under this epithet helps us to regain our freedom, to get rid of the chains and bonds that please us, that dwarf us, that hold us back and do not let us move forward. The strength of his power is overwhelming, and the freedom you regain returns everything that was drained and held back from you. It makes you freer to be who you really are, now is when I need the time, because now I have to get used to this freedom that was stolen from me.